The Secret is Revealed: How a Boy Becomes a Man. Part 2 of The Five Aspects of Manhood

I love to wrestle with my three sons.

I unexpectedly surprise them by putting them in a headlock, just to see how they will fight their way free. 

Maybe it’s playful combat, or maybe it’s my way to prepare them for the push and pull of life in a wild, jungle-of-a-world.

·         But a dad should be careful about how he trains his boys, because boys become men.

Now that my sons are bigger and stronger, they have turned the tables on their aging father.

When I least expect it, one of my boys will give me a surprise attack, just to see how I’ll wrestle my way out of things. 

Sometimes all three will band together to see if they can overpower their papa.

What exactly is a telltale sign that a boy is becoming a man? 

While any boy can begin something, a man finishes things. 

A man who finishes things has traditionally been called a husband.

A husband cares for what he creates.

A husband cultivates and tends the persons and things within his realm in order to make them fully fruitful and powerfully productive.

We often equate the word husband with marriage but “husbandry” has also been associated with farming or gardening.

A boy can throw a handful of seeds into the dirt, but a man will faithfully water, fertilize, prune and pray for abundant growth and development.

Here are three things a boy can do this week to become a man that husbands well.

·         First, stop living as a consumer. 

A consumer depends on mom, dad and others without taking responsibility.

Authority flows from taking responsibility.

Contribution creates deeper joy than consumption.

Watch a coach, a mechanic, a webmaster, a pit crew chief, an engineer and a pastor. 

They have an appetite for multiplying abundance.

It’s time to be productive for the sake of loving and serving others.

Things become wild when a man refuses to tend and care for that which is under his responsibility.

What is the condition of your room, body, clothes, computer, animals, and relationships?

What is the condition of your relationship with the living God?

·         Second, don’t abuse your husbanding by overwork. 

When we roll up our sleeves and overexert our energy in inefficient ways we sweat.

Cursed with sweat, we often curse when we give our life to our work.

The gospel is all about Christ working for you as He died to absorb your penalty for sin and lives to carry you with his righteousness. 

He said the final “It is Finished” at the end of his cross-work to save fallen humanity.

All work and no play makes men into exhausted, arrogant jerks. 

I know this because I struggle with overwork and the pride and exhaustion it creates every day.

Make sure you build margin into your calendar to wrestle with your boys, date your wife and play at a hobby.

·         Third, don’t slack up or slack off.  Our culture tempts boys to abandon their role as emerging husbands.

Coasting, convenience and comfort tempt boys to stay boys.

Spend more time cultivating the character of Christ rather than competence at trivial games or useless skills.

Men have a fire in their belly to husband productive things.

Slackness creates mediocre and careless productivity.

Christ played hard but never abandoned his role as the husband of his bride, the church by slacking off.

Paul said it best when he addressed his “brothers” with these words:  ESV 1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

·         And young men here is the secret of all secrets--

Girls becoming women look for boys becoming men… who relish husbanding for the glory of God.

Well guys, what do you think? 

Do you agree that the secret to a boy becoming a man is husbanding things well? 

I’d love to hear from you.

Pastor Howard
Senior Pastor
Metro North Church